Will Ferrell: Allen Gamble

Terry Hoitz: [Hoitz sharing his duck joke with Gamble] On a young boy’s thirteenth birthday, it’s time to participate in sexual intercourse.

Allen Gamble: Already seems unsuitable.

Terry Hoitz says, “I could think of having sex with a duck for you, it’s my birthday. I don’t have any money, but I usually want money, you know. And he goes to see the lady at the barn.”

The reason why Gamble Allen probably received a health code violation is because he was a farmer who brought a duck into a place of prostitution.

Terry Hoitz: They weren’t going to engage in sexual activity with a duck!

Allen Gamble: No, I simply imply a health code infringement to have the duck carried into a facility of that nature.

Terry Hoitz: Anyway, she agrees “Yes, I’ll do it.” So he enters the room and hands it to her.

Allen Gamble: What does he give her?

Terry Hoitz, the hard-working and dedicated detective, loves her job so much that she will give it her all again if you back her up.

Allen Gamble: I apologize, I deeply regret my actions. So the duck is a form of compensation for engaging in sexual activity?

Terry Hoitz: The duck, has now repaid what he owed and is using it as his payment, yes. This is the best birthday ever, says God, oh. It happens again. Is he walking home right now?

Allen Gamble: So she was content with the duck as a form of payment?

[Agrees with a nod].

Allen Gamble: Sure.

He is walking down the street, so he can’t wait to go home and tell his father that the truck suddenly runs over the duck repeatedly.

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Allen Gamble: Did he kill the duck? So now the duck is deceased?

Terry Hoitz: The duck is deceased! The child begins to weep, the lorry driver halts, he’s quite disturbed, he didn’t intend-.

Gamble Allen [Interrupts] in the course of the 13-year-old boy’s crying, who had just had sex twice with his beloved duck and was watched by his old year 13 boy, I don’t see how this is ever going to be funny.

Terry Hoitz: The man feels guilty about causing harm to the duck, so he gives it two dollars.

Allen Gamble: And is the child satisfied with the two dollars?

Terry Hoitz: He’s overjoyed! He had intimate encounters twice and now he has two dollars on top of it!

Allen Gamble: It appears that a duck would be valued significantly higher than two dollars.

Terry Hoitz: I received two dollars for a damaged duck and I acquired a duck for the sexual act. Father, I engaged in a sexual act in exchange for the duck, inform me, inform me! His father asks, “What occurred, what occurred?” So he returns home, well this occurred some time ago.

Allen Gamble: So it’s similar to a limerick.

Terry Hoitz: You didn’t find that amusing?

No, in terms of content? But when all the words were put together, I thought it was entertaining at the end, for sure: Gamble Allen.

Allen Gamble: [exhales] Retrieve the bill.

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