What to Do When You’re Interested in Your Wife’s Attractive Friend


When you find yourself attracted to your wife’s friend, it can be a challenging situation to navigate. Men usually have one of two reactions in such circumstances. The first reaction is to shrug it off, acknowledging the attractiveness of someone without intending to act on it. After all, being attracted to someone other than your spouse doesn’t mean you’re going to be unfaithful. The second reaction is panic, which occurs when the attraction persists and starts causing conflicts in your relationship. In this article, we provide relationship advice for men who find themselves attracted to someone other than their wife.

Having a Crush Isn’t Cheating

First and foremost, it’s crucial to acknowledge your feelings and understand that having a crush on someone else doesn’t make you a bad husband. It’s essential to recognize that attraction to others is a natural human inclination. However, it’s important to remember that with great power comes great responsibility. Being sexually attracted to your wife’s friend is not inherently wrong, but acting upon those feelings would be crossing a line.

Practice Smart Self Control

It’s crucial to exercise self-control when dealing with an attraction to your wife’s friend. Dwelling on the attraction and continuously nurturing those feelings will only make matters worse. It’s comparable to planting a seed and constantly tending to it; the seed will inevitably grow. Instead, it’s important to resist indulging in fantasies, such as imagining a relationship or engaging in sexual activities with your wife’s friend.

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One effective approach is to consciously avoid activities that may fuel your attraction, such as fantasizing about her, going through her photos on social media, or engaging in private conversations. By leaving your feelings alone and not actively pursuing them, the crush will eventually fade away. Patience is key in allowing time to diminish the intensity of your attraction.

Understanding Crushes and Marriage

It’s essential to recognize that having a crush on someone else does not necessarily mean you are unhappy with your wife or dissatisfied in your marriage. You may genuinely love your wife and have a fulfilling relationship with her. Crushes can happen spontaneously, even when you least expect them. However, if your attraction to your wife’s friend persists for an extended period, it may be worthwhile to reflect on your overall satisfaction in your marriage.

If you find that you are not content or perhaps feeling bored in your marriage, it’s crucial to take proactive steps to improve it. This can involve spicing things up in the bedroom, scheduling regular date nights, enhancing communication, and exploring new experiences together. By actively working on your marriage, you can address any underlying issues and prevent the attraction to your wife’s friend from becoming a source of conflict.

Focus on Your Relationship

If your crush starts spiraling out of control, it is advisable to reduce or eliminate contact with your wife’s friend. This means avoiding social media interactions, excusing yourself if your wife invites her over, and refraining from engaging in private conversations with her. Instead of allowing your feelings to lead you astray, redirect your sexual energy towards pleasuring your wife.

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Studies have shown that sexual satisfaction can significantly boost overall marital satisfaction and happiness. By focusing on your relationship with your wife and prioritizing her pleasure, you can strengthen your bond and potentially reduce the significance of your attraction to her friend.

Stick to the Reality

It’s crucial to understand the potential consequences of acting on your attraction to your wife’s friend and to resist glamorizing the idea of a torrid affair. While the allure of such a scenario may be tempting, the reality is far from glamorous. It’s important to consider the negative outcomes that are likely to arise from cheating.

Imagine engaging in nervous but passionate sex with your wife’s friend, sneaking around behind your wife’s back, and breaking her trust. The constant worry of potential repercussions, such as an unplanned pregnancy, can also add significant stress to your life. Furthermore, the affair may take various paths, all of which ultimately lead to negative outcomes:

  • You may get away with the affair but experience overwhelming guilt and shame.
  • The fear of getting caught may consume you, leading to suspicion and projecting onto your wife, damaging your relationship further.
  • Your wife’s friend may develop genuine feelings for you and desire a committed relationship. When you express your commitment to your wife, she may decide to reveal the affair to your wife, causing immense harm.
  • If your wife discovers the affair or you choose to confess, your marriage will be in shambles, potentially breaking your children’s hearts and causing emotional distress to your mistress as well.
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Regardless of how you look at it, engaging in an affair results in nobody truly winning. While the idea of a secret tryst may seem exciting, the reality is far from what Hollywood portrays. Cheating is a nerve-wracking and emotionally destructive experience that almost always ends in regret and pain.


When faced with an attraction to your wife’s friend, it’s crucial to handle the situation with care and respect for your marriage. Understanding that having a crush doesn’t make you a bad husband is the first step. Practicing self-control, focusing on your relationship with your wife, and avoiding glamorizing an affair are key strategies to overcome these feelings.

Ultimately, acknowledging your attraction and moving on, while also taking a break from spending time with your wife’s friend, can help prevent the development of an emotional attachment. By prioritizing your marriage and actively working on it, you can ensure a stronger and happier relationship with your wife.

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